Friday, April 29, 2005
Isn’t that Fuckin’ cool?
Kinda old news, but the posting of old news seems to be a trend around these parts. And the news is pretty irrelevant, so you can stop reading if you like. (But you won’t you Stotz-addicted monkeys).
When getting my BA in college (that was the thing I did between drinks), I learned that words are ironic: words possessed supreme power. And they are inherently powerless. I also learned that that’s more paradox than irony, but whatever.
An offhanded response by the emperor of Japan was possibly misconstrued, and that helped convince the kindly Truman fella to bomb them politely.
But you know, they’re just words too? Way less powerful than fists, and that’s just for instance. They’re also less powerful than Dristan (regular strength even), the NEW Febreeze, the weird mind control that Paris Hilton has that tricks us into thinking she’s relevant, and this guy I know named, “Melvin.”
But words are the bridge between us. Words are similar to what some atheists like me think god REALLY is—a construct created by us, that we place above us as a Meta force that we allow to govern us. Words also could be used to segue between this kludgy intro and the actual point of this entry.
A few months ago a friend of mine told me that she could no longer enjoy my delightful blog entries because therein, dear readers, every now and again—if you scanned carefully—you could find a swear. The software that they installed on the Coleco -Vissions that she uses in the school in which she teaches apparently took notice of the cussing.
I guess I could be shocked, hurt. I could ask myself why my tender little site? Why am I now a social pariah? What are these changes my body is going through?
But no, like a schoolboy giggled I. ‘Cause see, I’m thinking: total badge of honor. I’m kinda lame, so any rebellion I can fit in works for me.
I could play the whole “they’re afraid of the indelible mark that I’ll instill in the impressionable young minds” card. Then go off and drink some hemlock, attempt to die a dignified drama-queen death, then realize it wasn’t really hemlock—just sugar free green tea energy drink that tastes like humming bird feed, and how would I have know if it’s hemlock anyway? I could be indignant and get on a pulpit and raise my fist and say, “It’s about the ideas, man!” But it’s not; it’s about the cussing. (Jeez! Keep up.)
The crazy thing is, I’m in some ironically conservative company. (Again, not so much ironic as just coincidental or unexpected)
Dick Army is a politico who is one of the staunchest supporters of Work place censoring software. That software will prevent you from visiting his site. ‘Cause his name is Dick. For those keeping score at home, that’s a slang term for a boy’s pee-pee.
Say you’re a school spirit having, fresh faced kid who wants to hit your school’s web site to see what time the big game starts. Nope. Your HIGH school just may have the word, “high” in its web site. (Pssssst. That’s what those filthy hippies use for code words when they are doing the drugs.)
If you’re a dedicated IT guy, who has a gleam in your eye because you just installed censoring software on your whole company’s computers, you better hope they never have a CD or DVD ROM problem. Despite who’s on the nameplate, matSHITa probably makes your drive. Emailing tech support may be tricky.
These are all real examples I found on the net of censor software spreading its joyless grip over the nation. And now, my blog is also on the black list. Cool. I always wanted to be part of a big trend.
When getting my BA in college (that was the thing I did between drinks), I learned that words are ironic: words possessed supreme power. And they are inherently powerless. I also learned that that’s more paradox than irony, but whatever.
An offhanded response by the emperor of Japan was possibly misconstrued, and that helped convince the kindly Truman fella to bomb them politely.
But you know, they’re just words too? Way less powerful than fists, and that’s just for instance. They’re also less powerful than Dristan (regular strength even), the NEW Febreeze, the weird mind control that Paris Hilton has that tricks us into thinking she’s relevant, and this guy I know named, “Melvin.”
But words are the bridge between us. Words are similar to what some atheists like me think god REALLY is—a construct created by us, that we place above us as a Meta force that we allow to govern us. Words also could be used to segue between this kludgy intro and the actual point of this entry.
A few months ago a friend of mine told me that she could no longer enjoy my delightful blog entries because therein, dear readers, every now and again—if you scanned carefully—you could find a swear. The software that they installed on the Coleco -Vissions that she uses in the school in which she teaches apparently took notice of the cussing.
I guess I could be shocked, hurt. I could ask myself why my tender little site? Why am I now a social pariah? What are these changes my body is going through?
But no, like a schoolboy giggled I. ‘Cause see, I’m thinking: total badge of honor. I’m kinda lame, so any rebellion I can fit in works for me.
I could play the whole “they’re afraid of the indelible mark that I’ll instill in the impressionable young minds” card. Then go off and drink some hemlock, attempt to die a dignified drama-queen death, then realize it wasn’t really hemlock—just sugar free green tea energy drink that tastes like humming bird feed, and how would I have know if it’s hemlock anyway? I could be indignant and get on a pulpit and raise my fist and say, “It’s about the ideas, man!” But it’s not; it’s about the cussing. (Jeez! Keep up.)
The crazy thing is, I’m in some ironically conservative company. (Again, not so much ironic as just coincidental or unexpected)
Dick Army is a politico who is one of the staunchest supporters of Work place censoring software. That software will prevent you from visiting his site. ‘Cause his name is Dick. For those keeping score at home, that’s a slang term for a boy’s pee-pee.
Say you’re a school spirit having, fresh faced kid who wants to hit your school’s web site to see what time the big game starts. Nope. Your HIGH school just may have the word, “high” in its web site. (Pssssst. That’s what those filthy hippies use for code words when they are doing the drugs.)
If you’re a dedicated IT guy, who has a gleam in your eye because you just installed censoring software on your whole company’s computers, you better hope they never have a CD or DVD ROM problem. Despite who’s on the nameplate, matSHITa probably makes your drive. Emailing tech support may be tricky.
These are all real examples I found on the net of censor software spreading its joyless grip over the nation. And now, my blog is also on the black list. Cool. I always wanted to be part of a big trend.
// posted by Tim @ 6:55 AM 
