Invader Tim

A few posts back I mentioned holiday weekend roadblocks that were out there for the express purpose to hand out minor traffic violations willy as well as nilly, and how out of perspective it seemed for the local constabulary to post the results victoriously when we had TEN murders so far. I suggested that maybe they should focus elsewhere. Well, a guy who was shot about three weeks ago passed on, so now we’re up to ELEVEN MURDERS. The year is not half over. And they say Rockford has no getters of go.
But once again, let’s not talk of anything as prosaic as the premature ripping of a human life from the surly bonds of this city ranked 300 out of 300 by Money magazine. Let’s talk ‘bout moral turp’tude. That’s right, I’m talking about the fact that our lord (the christ, the lamb emmanuelle, the sky-bully who kills your first born if you don’t do creepy whacked out shit like put the blood of gyro meat on your door) don’t want you paying to get you a blowjob. No friends and imperfect sinners, every time you solicit a hummer from a horrible impious, unclean woman, baby jesus cries. Do you want baby jesus to cry?
Well we’ve got an alderman (isn’t that the planet Princess Leia is from?) in Rockford who don’t want the baby jesus to shed a tear, and if you do get yourself some ill begotten hummer from a modern day jezebel, you sir (or madam, I guess) will get your picture on a web site that serves a rouges gallery of shameful seekers of paid for helmet buffin’.
The theory goes: the pervert who wants…sex…ew…people actually want that?…will be humiliated, and never do it again. Or in extreme cases will be shunned like some pariah and stoned to death by the loving, kindly, non-blowjob getting, god fearing, alter boy abusing public.
So let’s hit this piñata and see what logical goofiness comes out.
Item one: I don’t want to pay tax dollars for this. So, you code monkeys looking for an easy city job, forget about it. Not much more needs to be said about that. Rockford is in too much debt already. What budget meeting will that line item come across?
Then, let’s address the shame thing real quick? Might some of these skeezes be shameless, and maybe even wear this web site guest star role as a badge of bizzaro world honor?
In this out of whack idea’s defense, it’s not without precedent. Chicago’s doing it apparently. So that makes it ok right? Here’s the main thing wrong with Chicago’s approach: they post the picture at time of arrest. They don’t wait until you’re convicted, or actually proven, you know, guilty. Let’s ruin these people’s lives before we know they’re, you know, ruinable.
The point of this site is to shame the john. (Ooo, I feel like I’m in a Mike Hammer novel using lingo like that, but that’s what the media have been calling them here.) But what shell of rubbernecking, holier than though, sad sack of humanity will ever see it? Think about it. Where in the normal course of daily activity will this media be inserted into people’s lives? It’s not like you can’t live your lives without it, like maybe a weather report. I imagine the people who really care, aren’t technological super heroes; they may not be able to get on the net at all (their favorite piece of media is over 2,000 years old I’d wager). Is the news going to keep referring to the site on slow news day? So it won’t shame the john’s too often if no normal person goes to the site of shame. But normal people won’t.
I’ve been watching a few of those crime TV shows, (not like CSI or anything boring like that; check out the Inside on Fox) so let me try a profile: this site will be visited by the same people who take pictures of abortion clinic doctors and post them on the site and ask their visitors to protest or even do violent, wrathful things. Many of the site’s visitors will be single, early 40s, have a superiority complex—a god complex if you will, an inability to connect with people, and the rest of the typical serial killer fare.
So is it really shame that is the threat here, or that wing nut fundamentalists will visit upon the sinners the wrath of his fiery sword of ironic mercy, thus being executioner to these guys?
So, that’s the part about the site directly, now let’s talk about the allegedly dirty deed. I am not that progressive of a guy, but I don’t get why it’s illegal at all. Shock! Horror! Blah blah. If the act itself were illegal, that may be different. Murder is wrong. So if you paid someone to murder you, that’s wrong…in a paid for way.
I think it’s fucked up that there are things considered toweringly, fantastically illegal in one are of the US of A that are legal in other parts of our country. That’s right, not just the world, but our own country. It’s so double standard, and unleveled, and wrong in general. If you need to pay for a blowjob, all you gotta do is hop a plane to Nevada. It’s perfectly legal there. I don’t get it. Make it illegal there, or repeal the laws here. I don’t like when right or wrong is dependant on geography, especially in my own country’s borders.
I’m not making judgment calls on how morally wrong it actually is, or what it does to women, nor am I taking up the misogynist side by saying “all blowjobs are paid for, relatively speaking.” I’m just talking about the law. I think the main reason you shouldn’t pay the Rockford street walkers is that they are butt ugly, and pretty likely disease carrying. I also think that if it were legalized, the disease aspect could be controlled more…but like I said, this is more about the law, and why it exists here and not in Nevada. I mean look how hot some people are to get a gambling boat in the Rock River. And not just in Rockford; these damn boats are everywhere. It is for the most part wrong to say gambling’s illegal here. Is this a progressive way to get a prostitution boat going? Let’s not forget Native American reservations. Are prostitution reservations coming? I did a commercial for some outfit that hosts Charitable Games. It was sleazy, and there plenty of tragic wastes of humanity present. I wandered through the emaciated, skeletal old timers with improbable beer guts, or furrowed brow, angry red necks who were taking themselves way too seriously. I carried a big ass camera and looked a bit less glazed over and soul-dead than the rest of the room, so they thought I was a guy who knew something. I must have been asked a dozen times what charity the proceeds of this lovely proceeding went too. No one I talked to knew. So, hmmm, sham excuse to gamble? I do know that many of these charitable causes are church related—especially bingo. I thought jesus kicked those people out of the temple. Maybe soon there will be Charitable Prostitution instead of just Charitable Games.
The funny thing is that if you gambled in a hotel room right next to that depressing “ballroom” type place where the charitable games were going on in the same building, you’d break the law! “Halt right there! You’re 10 yards from the place where you can gamble for baby jesus. We only allow the baby jesus gambling in this town!”
I went to a poker night and played with my friends for pennies, or when we really got crazy, for dimes. It was not on a boat; I suppose I broke a law. I gotta tell you as far as illegal, no-holds-barred thrill rides go, that poker night didn’t rate to high. I didn’t feel any heady outlaw fringe rush. So, thanks to admitting that gambling, will there be a web site with my mug on it? I mean besides the couple of outlets that my picture already inundates.
Is this a trend? Will other lawbreakers be net stars? How about all those roadblock arrests? I wonder if I’ll see those non seat belt people hang their heads in shame. That’ll learn them.
I guess in the spirit of “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” I should start a site that posts pictures of Johns who are proud of having legal encounters with prostitutes in Nevada, Canada, Amsterdam, etc. Nah, that’s not much less creepy than the other site will be.