Invader Tim

Count the moments, kiddies. I imagine I’m jail-bound soon. For I have a terrible secret.
There is a horrendous, atavistic monkey man slithering through Rockford. He infects people with a virus that morphs them into sock monkeys. It’s not fatal, not painful, but downright inconvenient…and the smell, dear baby jesus, the smell. And all that feces flinging! You can have it!
This monkey-faced molester is not I. The reason I’m going to jail is I’m withholding his identity. You see, I’m the Jimmy Olson to his Superman. And he has trusted me with pictures. I didn’t really take the pictures (so the Jimmy Olson analogy falls short). No these pictures are of a high enough quality, one would have to figure they were taken by, I don’t know…say, an erstwhile museum curator. Just for instance.
Gaze on…or avert your eyes. Both valid lifestyle choices.


I think she’s in estrus. She seems to be presenting.


Like the flying monkeys in Wizard of Oz except confusingly attractive.


And one for the ladies.