Monday, October 03, 2005
-3 The British Call it “The Progrumme”
I had some stuff on my mind…what was it…oh yeah!
Vermouth is the opposite of Cheese. Not just different, but the opposite; viz:
Vermouth, for those keeping score at home, is an obnoxious, dry white wine that is the other ingredient in Martinis. Here’s the catch (this is the part where I explain the catch): you have to try to put as little as possible in a martini to make it “dry.” And apparently this dryness (unlike the feminine kind in menopausal women) is a good thing. Man this gets ridiculous. I mean screw all that hurling about of bottles, and stuff ala Cocktail, the bartender who learns how to split the Vermouth atom will be the best. So why, you ask—and not undeservedly—would one not just skip the vermouth entirely—because surely the least amount of Vermouth is none, until scientists come up with some manor of ANTI-VERMOUTH? I really don’t know. But it is sin. Not to be done. This renders this high status symbol drink into a mere Vodka or Gin on the rocks.
So Cheese…is the opposite. We try to pack as much cheese in as possible. There can always be more. It’s like adding 1 to infinity, or no even better, adding 2. Doritos is always making stuff cheesier. Pizza chains are always adding more. It’s like either a sick game, or somehow the dim marketing types just don’t get the idea to make their cheese based products cheesier until later. You think they want the Cheetos Cheesier? Hmmmm, dare to dream. But once again you can’t just eat cheese. I mean you can, and I do. But it is always the goal to have stuff besides cheese cheesier…almost in utter defiance of the fact that naturally the cheesiest thing you can consume is, in a word, cheese.
To recap:
Vermouth = as little as possible without having none, even though having none would be easy.
Cheese = as much as possible without eating pure cheese, although that tastes damn fine too.
You get that? Oh wait that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about at all.
Just a friendly reminder that the VODcast is on in 3. Truth be told, if today is Tuesday, and the ‘cast is on Thursday (or day 0) this would make it more like the second day instead of third, but that would be math. Nuh uh. Anyway, I’m planning on posting it in the evening.
I know you guys understand because you guys are the guys of me.
Vermouth is the opposite of Cheese. Not just different, but the opposite; viz:
Vermouth, for those keeping score at home, is an obnoxious, dry white wine that is the other ingredient in Martinis. Here’s the catch (this is the part where I explain the catch): you have to try to put as little as possible in a martini to make it “dry.” And apparently this dryness (unlike the feminine kind in menopausal women) is a good thing. Man this gets ridiculous. I mean screw all that hurling about of bottles, and stuff ala Cocktail, the bartender who learns how to split the Vermouth atom will be the best. So why, you ask—and not undeservedly—would one not just skip the vermouth entirely—because surely the least amount of Vermouth is none, until scientists come up with some manor of ANTI-VERMOUTH? I really don’t know. But it is sin. Not to be done. This renders this high status symbol drink into a mere Vodka or Gin on the rocks.
So Cheese…is the opposite. We try to pack as much cheese in as possible. There can always be more. It’s like adding 1 to infinity, or no even better, adding 2. Doritos is always making stuff cheesier. Pizza chains are always adding more. It’s like either a sick game, or somehow the dim marketing types just don’t get the idea to make their cheese based products cheesier until later. You think they want the Cheetos Cheesier? Hmmmm, dare to dream. But once again you can’t just eat cheese. I mean you can, and I do. But it is always the goal to have stuff besides cheese cheesier…almost in utter defiance of the fact that naturally the cheesiest thing you can consume is, in a word, cheese.
To recap:
Vermouth = as little as possible without having none, even though having none would be easy.
Cheese = as much as possible without eating pure cheese, although that tastes damn fine too.
You get that? Oh wait that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about at all.
Just a friendly reminder that the VODcast is on in 3. Truth be told, if today is Tuesday, and the ‘cast is on Thursday (or day 0) this would make it more like the second day instead of third, but that would be math. Nuh uh. Anyway, I’m planning on posting it in the evening.
I know you guys understand because you guys are the guys of me.
// posted by Tim @ 10:01 PM 
