Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Holly SHIT! Life Imitates Art (that was cut from The Progrum)

Have you seen episode 4 of the VODcast yet? Well, the intro has me walking around and REALLY good things happen to me. It’s a total exaggeration, and an absurd view of a charmed life. Well, the script I wrote was a little long (No, Really), so we cut some. Here’s one of the lines that got cut. It got cut because it wasn’t funny.
Person 3
Whoo, that last bit was Comedy gold. I’m with, the folks who host your site, and we want to give you free server space and bandwidth, just because you’re cool as fuck, and deserve it.

Well, I just got this email from

Dear Tim Stotz,

Looking for a little bit more out of your hosting plan? How does this sound? 900% MORE Disk Space! 900% MORE Bandwidth! 900% MORE Databases! 400% Email Accounts! And ALL for the same low price!
• Increased Disk Space from 500 MB to 5,000 MB
• Increased Bandwidth from 25 GB to 250 GB
• Increased Email Accounts from 100 to 500
• Increased your Database MySQL from 1 to 10

The coolness of this is right up there with sliced, lo-carb bread. The only bad thing about you monkies tuning in every week or so is that if you go over my badwidth allotment, I’m hosed. No more Progrum for that month. But now…well, we’d have to be a lot more popular than we are to make that happen.

We also cut a line where a woman showed me her tits…because we couldn’t find a woman to show me he tits…on camera anyway. Any Volunteers for that?

I'll show you my tits. Well, tit. I only have one. What?! I don't have any left? What happened to the rest of my body? All I've got is this stupid head? It's like Johnny Got His Gun or something. Anyone here know Morse code?

Ive got a cow you could borrow...but you will have to pick her up yourself...

Rib Meat!
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